I'm still here.

Welp, I have no idea what I weigh right now. This morning it was around 277, but I don't really remember, and I just ate, so now isn't a good time. I'll be sure to post the "official" weight on Sunday as usual.

Just wanted to write and let everyone know I was still around. I spent last week at mom and dad's visiting family. Spent a night with my sister so of course plenty of time with the crazy nephew and the sweetest cutest niece in the world. Seriously, she is adorable. My sister would tell me about people stopping her in stores and such to say how cute she was (which I totally agree with) but we went to lunch at Mellow Mushroom in Chattanooga and sure enough, at least 4 people stopped by our table to tell us how cute she is. All the while the nephew is trying to eat all the pretzels and is falling under the table out of his high chair. The kid is crazy, but absolutely hilarious. I got to see my grandmaw (my last remaining grand parent) who has had a series of doctors appointments lately. She has been diagnosed with cancer and started treatment yesterday. Obviously prayers would be appreciated on her behalf, but just so everyone knows, she is a tough ole' bird and said she wasn't going anywhere till I got married. She might have to wait a while. Anyways, it was great to see her get to play with her great grandchildren.

Obviously, I saw mom and dad. I love my parents, as crazy/off the wall/slow talking as they can be, they are awesome. Dad and I shot some clays in the back yard, good father/son bonding time. Mom and I ate breakfast together one morning, french toast. I like french toast, but no one makes it like mom, her's is the best by far. I had the privilege of getting to see some very good friends and spend a lot of time with them as well. I got to shoot a few times last week, which I love. It's nice to just have some friends come over, throw some clays, put up some targets, and throw some lead down range. The only draw back, my shotgun has been malfunctioning lately, so I had to send it back to the factory to get them to fix it. Just a note, for anyone around Athens that wants to go shoot at the indoor range, let me know, I am always up for that.

Well, now that I got that out of the way, on to current events. I have decided to do my absolute best to not eat out as much (Tuesday is 5$ pizza a Papa Johns, thats $2.50 a meal, can't pass that up. Also Chick fil A for breakfast one day a week and Saturdays. It's my routine, sorry), and now I have an even better goal than losing weight. I want to buy a new gun, so at this point, it's less about weight and more about a new rifle, which will still give me a positive end result at weigh in time and I will be saving money.

Walking has been great this week, not so good last week. I think I might have developed a nice routine now. Get home, eat a nice snack, nap, then walk. I love this daylight lasting till 8ish. Still waiting on the gym to open to start some weights, really looking forward to that.

Ugh, thats enough for now.

I'm so tired.

I can't remember looking forward to a break as much as I am spring break this year. I am just tired every day. There is no such thing as a normal day anymore, something crazy happens all the time. I have done better this week than last week about walking, but still not as good as I should be. I just want to nap every afternoon. I have been having days where I am in a bad mood from the time I wake up to the time I goto sleep, and other days where nothing bothers me. I am looking forward to getting plenty of sleep next week, as well as getting to shoot guns. I honestly plan on shooting 4 or 5 days over the break. It is just something that allows me to concentrate on something totally different for a while. Also, it is fun to push myself to be better at, because I can see a real world connection to a skill that is important, either for self defense or if zombies attack. I will be prepared either way.

In that same vein, I have been thinking about how well I would be able to handle a total collapse of civilization. Would I be able to survive that? It is a fun thing for me to think about, not the collapse, just if I could handle it. Anyways, just some mid week thoughts.

I have back slidden'!

Yes, I gained a pound this week, up to 279.8. I know exactly why, I didn't exercise everyday and I ate out a lot. Dog threw up one day so I had to clean that up, and by that time I just didn't feel like going. Had to take the dog to the vet the next day, and mom and dad came to visit, so I didn't go that day and I ate at Mellow Mushroom (my favorite place). Wednesday I went and got my truck back. Thursday I walked, Friday I was a bum and didn't go. Yesterday it was rainy and same today. So those are the things that I LET prevent me from getting to my goal. Yes, I realize that none of those things should get in my way, but they did. Oh well, this week will be better.

This has been a tough week. I know for sure that I am ready for spring break. I don't have any big plans for spring break which means it will probably result in me going to mom and dad's and shooting guns in the back yard everyday. That will make me happy.

Just keep swiming...

This week was 278.8. So officially below 280 now. I'm pretty happy with my results so far. With some minor changes to diet and everyday exercise I have lost around 15 pounds. Did it come off quickly, no. Did I do it in a healthy manner that developed better habits than a fad diet, yup. It has been nice to see progress even on weeks where I don't expect to see any, like this week.

These last few weeks have been kinda crazy. We have had a lot of teachers leaving (for various reasons) or just out sick a lot. In the last two years I have been teaching, I don't recall teachers being out this much. 

In church today the pastor talked about discord among people. He started with the world, such as in Egypt and Libya and where ever else. Then among our own government, then down to our town/city, then down to the church and work place. It didn't really hit me until that break down, how much discord and disunity there is among us. There are just a lot of unhappy people in the world right now, and unfortunately I find myself slipping into that sometimes. I have seen a few friends kinda let it get to them, and they just aren't the same person they used to be. It's kinda heart breaking to see people I know just get emotionally worn out from the stress that life puts on them. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I just hope that I don't fall into it and that hopefully I can do something to brighten others day. 

I'll finish with this verse, and most of you who know me well, know that it is my favorite. 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matt 6:34 

It's still going.

So after going home for the weekend to see my best friend get his wings and become a Naval Aviator (Marine jet pilot) and seeing the family for mom and sister's birthdays I thought for sure I would have stayed the same or gone up a little. I ate out for most of the meals this weekend, and didn't really try to eat healthy when going out either. I just weighed myself, and this is at the end of the day when I am usually at my heaviest, and I was at 280.2. So still losing, I am pretty happy about that.

It was a great weekend. It's not every day you get to see someone accomplish their dream. Now I get to say my best friend flies Harriers, what does your's do? (also one is a professional umpire, one is a Army Chaplain and one is a hopefully soon to be missionary. I only hang out with cool people)

This was a better week.

Weight 281.4. Making steady progress. I actually weigh myself every morning, and two days this week I was actually below 280 for the first time in years. Since it wasn't consistent over the whole week I won't make it official.

So things have gotten better this week. The moron who ran into me is letting his insurance handle the accident so that should get fixed soon. The truck is still falling apart, but its not an immediately needed fix. I think I will start looking for a new truck soon and start seriously saving money to put down for one.

The dog is doing ok. I'm not sure how much longer she will have, at this point it should be 3-5 months, but I am skeptical. I will be calling the vet this week to see if we might can increase her meds.

I have done pretty well with the diet, trying to eat lighter and continue the exercise. I made some cheese raviloi this week that was really good. By made I mean, I bought the pasta from Publix pre-made and boiled the water and heated the sauce I bought. Still, it was really good.

I will do my best to update next week but I will be out of town for family birthdays (mom and sister both) and my best friend is getting his wings. He is a Marine jet pilot. Yeah, he lands on/launched off of boats. Yeah, it is as awesome as it sounds. Anyways, I will be there to celebrate with him because this is a great accomplishment and something I know he has worked for his whole life. So next weekend will be a little crazy, so I might try to update before that.

Also, sorry I have been slack about mid week posts, I'll try to do better.

Super Bowl, and I don't feel very super.

Well it is Super Bowl Sunday. Todays weight was 282. Some small improvement, which was good considering that I didn't get out as much as I would have liked, due to weather. If it's cold, I go. If it's windy, I go. If it's a little rainy, I go. I do not go when it all three of those things. I can definitely tell when I don't get out. I am way more irritable and frustrated, and all those things have been piling up lately.

The food has been better, more sandwiches, less eating out. I have been getting a lot more water lately. I have decided not to get my beloved Cran-Grape juice anymore. I was drinking a lot of calories in that, as well as orange juice. I have decided to stick with milk and water, and in all honesty, the occasional diet soda.

On the upside, I have joined the gym, they should be opening in the next few weeks, and I am completely ready to start some weight training. I think I might start with a personal trainer for a few weeks, just so I know what I am doing a little better. Yes, I am a health and P.E. teacher, but they didn't teach us all the ins and outs of weight training.

Ok, time for me to open up a bit more.

So as many know from a previous blog, my dog is sick. Well, I found out that it is a pretty aggressive cancer, and she was given 4-6 months. This has been a tough thing for me to deal with, and I really don't like to talk about it much because it makes me want to cry, I'm tearing up right now actually. This has been a process starting all the way back to October trying to find out what is wrong with her and get her fixed. I have spent a lot of time and money trying to get her fixed and then I find out that she is pretty much helpless. This completely kills me to know that there is nothing that I can do to help her except give her pills to manage the pain till the she passes. So I have been dealing with that for a while now, and it probably bothers me a lot more than I let anyone know (until now, obviously) and it probably bothers me more than I even realize.  On top of that, my truck is falling apart, I need to get a new one, but I can't because I am busy keeping this one running enough to get some money saved up to get a new one, basically an up hill battle. Just to top those things off, I get hit yesterday morning by some moron who had been drinking (it was 10:30 a.m. by the way). He gets out and wants me to not call the cops until his dad gets there, so he can say his dad was driving. Anyways, long story short, I call the cops anyways. It was his fault, he rear ended me. I know that his insurance will take care of it, but it was just one more stressful thing that I have to deal with now.

For those of you who know me well, you know that I rarely am stressed and that I don't get to emotional about things, but lately it has been rough for me. I know that many people have it much worse than me, and I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, I don't feel bad for myself. I just wanted to let out the things that have been bothering me.

Now the other part of my "dilemma" is that I am trying to figure out what God is trying to teach/tell me in all this. Is he trying to teach me to be more diligent in my giving to the church (because money, or lack there of, has been a constant issue in these things and that it is really His money)? Is he trying to teach me to spend more time with Him in His word (which I haven't really done regularly in a really long time)? Is he trying to tell me that I should get out of this town (which would be hard for me, because I love my job and my students, as tough as they can be sometimes)? My only real gripe with God on these things is that he is making my poor doggy feel bad. I would rather Him have made me sick than my dog, mostly because she can't tell me what feels bad or when it hurts etc. (I know, be careful what you ask for).

Today in church we discussed worship a lot, and in "sunday school" we talked about Solomon building the temple. In the passage we were discussing, we looked at a lot of the measurements and rules and standards that God told them to use, and one verse stood out to me. 1 Kings 6:11-13

 " 11 Now the word of the Lord came to Solomon,12 "Concerning this house that you are building, if you will walk in my statutes and obey my rules and keep all my commandments and walk in them, then I will establish my word with you, which I spoke to David your father.13 And I will dwell among the children of Israel and will not forsake my people Israel."


This just seemed almost like God encouraging him to continue his work, because the end result would be all worth it. I can imagine Solomon, and the workers getting frustrated with having to go by all these exact measurements and rules for building the temple, and God trying to encourage them to keep up the good work.

I think sometimes I get bored/tired of/ forgetful of the measurements that God and Christ set before us to follow and I just start nailing wood together and stacking up rocks and throwing mortar on them. I feel almost like maybe my temple is all out of wack. My walls are curved or crumbling, the floors are weak and flimsy, the roof leaks. All because I threw away the blueprints that He laid out for me.

Ok, all this deep thinking has made my head hurt, I gotta go lay down for a minute.

Random Note: I never really proof read any of these. I just kinda type for a while, so sorry about horrible grammar and the run on sentences. Thats pretty much how I talk anyways, so deal with it.